clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize