Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I pour the whiskey from now on
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
