I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
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