She announced her abortion via fbk
P.S. I can't hear my feet
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
