Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I could fuck to npr.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
