it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Randomize
