i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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