brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
