I wannas sexs uuuuu
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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