She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
