i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
