Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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