She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Randomize
