Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
