But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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