my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Randomize
