is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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