She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Randomize
