There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
