my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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