I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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