We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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