Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
