i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Randomize
