SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
