Well douche your snatch and let's go!
how can u be prego again
farters have to be the big spoon...
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
