We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
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