well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
