I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
