I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Randomize
