Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
