i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Alive.
So much puke
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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