It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
