Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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