i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
