Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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