Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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