I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
