Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
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