I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
