I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
