Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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