its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Randomize
