I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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