is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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