the condom got lost in my hair
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
