Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
