Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
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