Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
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