Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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