I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
