If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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