You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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