i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
