i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize