quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize