You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
