yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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