I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
