Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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