xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
