Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Define "chronic" masturbator.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Randomize
